Christians are straight up FREAKS
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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