It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
