i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
