she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
