Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
