he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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