New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
