Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
