dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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