I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
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Dignity is for republicans.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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