he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The struggles of a small town man whore
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
