Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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