Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!