I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?