Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace