didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
ok i will unlock the door
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed