Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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