this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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