Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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