Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
