nut hugger
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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