I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
