I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
