No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
