Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
