dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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