Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
