I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
