I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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