just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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