Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
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Strip Mario-Kart
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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