I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
