she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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