Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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