***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
