Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
