its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
