I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
