Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Randomize
