I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she pinky promised me she was 18
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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