I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Can I color on your dick again?
40s are totally the cure
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
