At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
