her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
