If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
