You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
