Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
