she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
