My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
