absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Randomize
