but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He? As in you personified your dick?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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