i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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