I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
