if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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