i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Randomize
