mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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