Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
