dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
worst night to have a conscience
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
