Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
