yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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